The Lesion

As I mentioned in my book ‘The Lump’, I had diarrhoea whilst on chemotherapy almost constantly for seven months. As well as being uncomfortable, this was quite sore on my bum. I can’t remember when but a small lump appeared on my anus and I assumed this was a haemorrhoid. What is it they say about assumption! My bowel movements have been erratic since having cancer and I got to the stage where I felt it needed to be looked at. I had a gastroscopy on 14 September and was diagnosed with Gastritis. My colonoscopy was due on 26 September. I convinced myself that I had Crohns Disease so wasn’t overly worried. I know Crohn’s isn’t exactly a walk in the park, but I had checked ‘Dr Google’ and all my symptoms appeared to suggest that this was the problem.

Have you had a colonoscopy? Four days before the procedure you start a special diet where you can only eat meat, fish, eggs, potatoes (without the skin) and rice. Then the day before the procedure you are on a ‘cleanwater’ diet consisting of fluids only. I had to take a Sennaplus tablet in the morning and from 1600-1900 hours, three litres of water mixed with a colon cleanser called Fortrans. After taking the first two litres of the solution my bowel started to empty itself. Poonami is an understatement. My system kept going even when there was nothing left and a clear yellow liquid came out. Apparently, this is the desired effect.

The doctor told me to take a final litre of the solution between 5-6 am on the morning of the procedure.

26 September

I got up at 4am and took the solution between 0400-0500 hours to avoid having an accident on the way to the hospital that morning. I was a little nervous but shouldn’t have been. I was sedated during the colonoscopy and the only slight drama was that the nurse struggled to find a vein for the catheter. I remember dreaming but can’t recall the details. I was disorientated when I opened my eyes and wondered for a second where I was. Slight drama when another nurse removed the catheter – the blood kept running down my arm despite putting pressure on the wound, but it was soon sorted. I dressed and sat in the office as requested, waiting to see the doctor.

The nurse brought me the report which I browsed while waiting. When I read the information regarding my colon, the word ‘normal’ was repeated several times which is always good in these reports. Then my stomach lurched when I read: ‘suspicious lesion, 4cm,’. The doctor came in, took a seat and explained the results of the colonoscopy. When I asked if the lesion could be cancer he gave me a sympathetic look and said that, yes, it could be. The look in his eyes told me that he’d seen these things before and he knew. I hoped it was my over-active imagination again but couldn’t get over the feeling.

He told me he’d taken a number of biopsies and the results should be through within a week. So I’ve just had over a week of wondering whether the high tumour markers in my latest blood test were an indication of cancer somewhere in my body, followed by the good news that there was nothing significant to worry about. Now I have another week of uncertainty. Good job that my hair’s grey already and that Allan doesn’t have any. We decided we couldn’t live our lives in a constant state of worry so drove to Paphos and had a lovely lunch while we both tried to absorb what the doctor had told me. That evening we sat out the back with a bottle of Prosecco and talked about other things. Despite the news, it was a lovely couple of hours and made us realise we should do it more often.

Friday 27 September

I’ve told my sister-in-law and three close friends, as well as my ever-understanding boss who has also become a good friend. I wanted to tell my brother and sister-in-law but my niece has the mutation on the BRCA 2 gene and I didn’t want to worry any of them when we don’t even know yet whether I do have anal/rectum cancer and if this could be related.